Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Turn That No Into A "Hell Yes!"

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

There are many ways to let your partner know you are "in the mood." Sometimes it could be a cute, "Do you wanna fool around?" Over time, the way we ask when we are certain our partner will disavow all knowledge, like in Mission Impossible, we may become like an automaton, rather than getting cute, creative and playful.

When someone demands sex or anything from us for that matter, the chances are we won't want to comply. I know I have a tendency to dig my heels and fingernails into whatever I can grip when I feel I am being coerced. No one wants to be told what to do, especially in a romantic relationship. Guys if you have bought her dinner and expect sex in return, think again! Not every date is sex worthy.

Dating Is A Different Kettle of Fish

Once I had a guy who thought we would have sex on the first day, kindly plug his handy dandy screwdriver into my right passenger tire. When I went out the next morning I could still feel his anger because I wouldn't have sex with him on the first day. He thought his purchase of a meal made sex a given. I don't recommend sex on the first day, getting to know someone and finding out if you have a connection or commonality is preferable. If sex happens on a first date, the likelihood of a lasting relationship is slim to none. 

If seduction and romance have gone by the wayside, perhaps it is time to dust off the chivalry and bring home chocolates or roses. What the heck, bring both! Romance, appreciation and being told that we look and smell amazing can turn a negative situation into a positive one. Following are some creative and fun ways to change the direction of your mounting frustration and have some great sex in the process.

  1. Ask your partner if they would like a massage? It is a pretty cold person that can experience a sexy massage without wanting to hold your hard body against theirs. Remember when you are massaging to tease around the genitals, no poking or prodding as that is not fair. Teasing is always a good idea.
  2. Kiss! People often forget to kiss. It is almost as if kissing is a bad idea. Why is that? There is nothing like some lip nibbling teasing tongue to turn both of you on. The lips are connected to the genitals, as are the nipples and other erogenous zones. Lips are constructed of the same incredibly excitable tissue that our genitals are. Get creative. Rub noses first. Take your time
    before going in for a lip-lock. Breathe your partner in, slowly move towards their lips making eye contact. Use soft lips and gently pull one of her lips into your mouth. Take your time. No rushing allowed. Kissing can turn both of you on to the point that some women can come just by kissing alone. Lucky girl!
  3. Take A Shower Together!  I am famous for my body buff in the shower. Use your body to buff your partner's, while all covered with shower gel or soap. Slide your body all around their back, front, legs.
    Enjoy the feeling of skin-to-skin contact. Shower play can be incredibly sensual. Best for people who don't care about their hair getting wet.
  4. Hold hands when out together. Holding hands releases oxytocin! Holding hands can give your partner a sense of connection and even security. Women need to feel trust and secure outside the bedroom to feel they can open up in the bedroom. 
  5. Hug each other during the day! We all need to be hugged. When we are too busy to touch during the day - we can feel disconnected. Touch outside the bedroom is as important as
    touch inside the bedroom. If you don't touch during the day, getting close at night could be a real nightmare. Hug each other before you leave for work. If you both work at home, you can still hug each other from time to time.  When we are sensory deprived, we have a tendency to say no, rather than yes. We have to break through a stony barrier to get to the yes. 
    We each need 12 hugs a day. How deprived are you?
  6. Help her / him out. What can you do to make their day less stressful? No matter who is saying no, there are a multitude of reasons why. How can you unburden your partner so that they
    can feel free to say, "Yes, I would love to?"
  7. Hold your partner close without expecting sex. When we take the pressure away from performance, we are giving our presence without expecting anything in return. There is nothing like being given a full body hug without the expectation of sex, to leave a woman going, "Wow!" Do this a few times and see if she/he doesn't come to you for more than a full body hug.
  8. Sext your partner. A sext doesn't have to be a full Monty photo of you. It could be a sexy text, just telling her how beautiful she is and how you can't wait to come home to her tonight. Send her another one later in the day telling her how much you love kissing her, or how great she smells. Complements turn on the brain. Guys and gals, sex begins in the brain, not the genitals! Get creative and think outside the box (literally and figuratively)!
Turn your love life into Mission Incredible, instead of Mission Impossible!

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is the author of Orgasm For Life. She is a love and passion coach helping women overcome their love story. Once past patterns and blocked emotions have been cleared, women are able to radiate their true beauty out into the world magnetizing love and all things wonderful to them. Healing your love story will shift the way you feel about yourself, your past and certainly the unlimited potential you possess to find true happiness.

For your DISCOVERY SESSION, E-mail Jennifer here.